Joseph #8

Becoming a Believer of Integrity and Forgiveness
The Life of Joseph # 8
September 28, 2008
Pastor Ben Fleming ----- TRUST

Trust is one of the most important ingredients in all human relationships. Write that word in at the top of your outline. SLIDE - TRUST You want people in your life that you can trust and you want to be trusted by others…. Without trust – marriages fall apart – without trust a family disintegrates – without trust a church family splits – without trust you loose friendships and without trust a business falls apart. Let me ask you – Do you trust Wall Street??? Do you trust your bank??? Do you trust the government???? Is there somebody in your family that you do not trust????? Is there someone from your past or in the present that you would not think of ever trusting again??????????

Trust can be rebuilt. If someone has lost your trust or if you have lost the trust of someone – it can be rebuilt but NOT without a lot of hard work and time and NOT without God’s supernatural intervention in the hearts of everyone involved. Turn in your bible to Genesis chapter 43. The story of Joseph gives us hope that trust can be rebuilt in a family and in relationships in spite of deep hurt – jealousy – hatred – dishonesty and deception. Some of you have experienced that in your lives. Who trusts you? Who do you need to rebuild trust with? Who has lost your trust? Please stand with me as we read verses 1 - 30. pray. ---

For Joseph to be able to trust his brothers…. he had to know two things: First – were they telling him the whole truth and secondly were they truly sorry and repentant for what they had done to God and man???? If you remember from last week --- the brothers had returned back to their homeland in Canaan with food. On the way home they had discovered that the silver they took with them to pay for the food had been put back into their sacks…… When they got home to Jacob their father--- they had to choose to tell him every thing that happened in Egypt. They told him about the powerful man in Egypt and how he asked them if they really had a younger brother and if they did not bring that brother back with them they could not buy food in the land of Egypt anymore and he kept Simeon in jail to make sure they would bring Benjamin back and when they opened their sacks and showed dad the silver sitting on top the grain….. notice in chapter 42:35 it says that they were “all frightened.” ……….Jacob had to have been devastated --- it is a wonder he did not have a heart attack. In 42:36 – Jacob says to his sons, “you have deprived me of my children” “Joseph is no more” --- “Simeon is no more and now you want to take Benjamin.”………….. Rueben tried to get his dad to agree to let him take Benjamin back to Egypt --- but he would not --- even though it had been some 15 years or more…..Jacob did not trust his oldest son and he had ever reason not to --- if you remember-----------Rueben had been sexually immoral with the mother of his step brothers…

Sexual immorality destroys trust and it takes real repentance – work – and years to restore it ---- Ruben obviously had not worked out his repentance…

Rueben went so far as to tell his dad that if he did not return with Benjamin and prove himself trustworthy by bringing Benjamin back to him…… Jacob could take the lives of his two sons. Jacob would not fall for that – no grandfather would take his grandson’s lives….. ……. Trust is difficult to rebuild. It does not come easy and when you have lost it ---- especially because of sexual immorality you cannot expect or demand to be trusted overnight by the one or family whose trust you broke. ………..

At the beginning of chapter 43 we can see that this standoff has to come to an end. The fourth oldest son Juddah comes forth to his dad and reminds dad that if they do not come with Benjamin they will not even get to speak with the Egyptian ruler and amazing Juddah makes a blunt – in your face statement to his dad. Verse 5 “If you will not send him, we will not go down”. In verse 6 … Jacob shifts it back on the boys and blames them for even telling the truth that they did have a younger brother… but Juddah reminds him ---- we simply told the truth and answered the man’s questions directly.

Juddah took charge and in the end he says in (verse 9) “you can hold me personally responsible for him, and if I do not bring him back I will bear the blame the rest of my life.” Because of the famine…..Jacob gave in ---- and sent the brothers back with Benjamin to Egypt and made certain that they packed the original money and extra gifts for the Egyptian ruler.

The brothers took Benjamin and arrived in Egypt and met Joseph… and in verse 16 when Joseph saw them he told his steward “take them to my house and kill an animal and prepare dinner – they are to eat with me at noon.” They were taken to his house and look in verse 18 “Now the men were frightened when they were taken to his house and they thought it was because of the silver in their sacks the first time they came to buy food. They thought he was going to overpower them and take their donkeys.” Can you imagine how anxious these guys were????????? In verse 19, they went to the steward to tell him what had happened on their first trip down and they showed him the silver and said they had brought it back and we do not know who put the silver in our sacks.”….. Look at the response of the steward” “Its all right – do not be afraid – Your God – the God of your father has given you treasure in your sacks and then he brought Simeon out to them. All 11 brothers were together.

Trust Lessons

1. When you are dishonest once --- it cannot be restored by one act of honesty. .
You may have to demonstrate again and again your honesty to rebuild trust to someone. God gave these brothers the opportunity to demonstrate their honesty. They did not know it at the time, but when Joseph had the silver put back in their sacks --- he gave them the very chance to show him that they were honest….. and they displayed the very character that Joseph was looking for.

2. Guilt always magnifies itself in anxiety. These guys were guilty. William Shakespeare wrote in King Henry the 6th ……“Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind”. If you are feeling guilty over some wrong you have done, everything that happens to you begins to play into that guilt, causing you apprehension and suspicion – you will always be thinking “they are going to find out.” Mom and dad are going to find out …..I just know she is going to find out….

True Story: A man and a woman stopped by a Kentucky Fried Chicken stand to pick up some supper. They bought two chicken dinners and took them to a picnic area. When they opened the bags there was more than chicken in the bags --- there was bundles of money. Honest guy that he was – the man drove back to the KFC and returned the money. The manager was overjoyed at the man’s honesty. He explained that he was working in the back putting all of the days proceeds in a chicken bag to take to the bank when the woman working the counter reached back to grab their order and got the wrong bag.
The manager was so impressed that he said “I am going to call the local newspaper and have them come over and get a photo of you two. People need to know there are still honest people around” Real anxiously the guy pulls the manager aside, “ No No do not do that … “I am married and the woman I am with is not my wife.”……… TRUST LESSON #3

3. Learn to start focusing on God again. God used a non believer to refocus these brothers back to Him. Look at verse 23 “Your God, the God of your father, he has given you treasure in your sacks”. This guy was not a Hebrew --- but Joseph obviously had been witnessing to him over the years and he knew about the God of the Hebrews. Guilt kept the brothers from seeing God’s grace in their lives. God ‘s unmerited favor came to them again. More grain. More money and their brother was returned to them.

Think about it:…. When you are guilty and feeling guilty you do not want to talk about spiritual issues. You do not feel like praying. You tend to ignore God –instead of coming to God – your selfishness tells you stay away – hide – keep it to yourself – let no one know what you are dealing with --- you can handle it… the devil tells you…. Guilt always blinds us to God’s grace.

Now go back to chapter 43:26 --- Joseph comes home and he sees the gifts laid out for him and the first question out of his mouth in verse 27 “how is your father you told me about?” I imagine the relief he felt when they told him he was still alive and well…. And then for the first time he sees his 20 year old baby brother Benjamin. The last time he perhaps saw him – he was a toddler….. Can you imagine how he wanted to throw his arms around him ??????? Benjamin was his only real blood brother…. but he restrained himself and said in verse 29 “God be gracious to you, my son.” Joseph’s emotions though finally overcome him and he runs out of the room to his bedroom weeping and sobbing --- he knew he could not reveal his identity but seeing his baby brother got the best of him. After awhile ---He regains control --- puts some visine in his eyes and comes back out to see his brothers.

Joseph is going to test them again…. so he sits his brothers down around the table – from the youngest to the oldest and orders that Benjamin be given 5 times as much food as the other brothers. He gives his baby brother royal treatment but he does so with a purpose….Joseph wanted to see if his brothers were still as jealous as they were when he was 17 yrs old…… We are not told what he saw and heard… but he must have been pleased. Benjamin was treated as royalty and not one time did Joseph see or hear any jealousy from the brothers. But still he was not satisfied --- he still wanted to know if he could trust them. Had they changed? Could he trust them? He could not see into their hearts so he came up with one more test…
Joseph gave the brother’s permission to go back to Canaan – so the donkeys were loaded up with as much food as they could carry and in Benjamin’s sake on his donkey – the steward put Joseph’s cup. When they were well on their way --- Joseph sent his steward after them and he accused them of taking the cup --- the brothers were in shock. All of the sacks were taken off the donkeys and opened and they found the cup in Benjamin’s sake. The brothers were so distraught that they tore their clothes. Now – Joseph had thought this out…. He told his servant to tell the brothers that the guilty one would become a slave and the rest would go free. Joseph knew that if they had not changed – Benjamin would be given to the steward and the brothers would head home to dad……. – but look at chp 44:vs13 --- “they all loaded their donkeys and went back to the city.” Joseph comes out of the house and sees his ragged brothers with their clothes torn and they come and throw themselves on the ground in front of him ----- can you imagine the joy he feels on the inside and now he has to act this play out…… Judah speaks up and steps forward and makes no excuses --- he makes no rationalizations --- he makes not attempts at a cover up. Look at verse 16 in chap 44. “What can we say?” “How can we prove our innocence?’ God has uncovered your servants guilt” ---- amazingly Joseph keeps on with this test and says – “only the man who was found with the cup will become my slave -- -they rest of you go back home.” Juddah now lets Joseph hear what they really feel about their father --- “if Benjamin does not go back home --- our father will die.” “Do not do this --- let me take his place” – Do not let me see the misery that would come upon my father.” ……………..Joseph now had his final answer – when he heard Juddah’s response he knew he could trust his brothers and in chap 45 he sends out of the room all the Egyptians and reveals his true identity to his brothers and he begans to weep so loudly.

Remember this: Whatever pain you have gone through because of lost trust. Remember this lesson we are studying::: God wanted Joseph – his brothers – and his father to go through this painful healing process – it was a process that lead them to true repentance.

Painful healing processes God often chooses not to avoid in our lives because it brings us spiritual growth and restores trust.

FIVE TRUST PRINCPLES

Principle #1 Trust is a precious possession, and we must do all we can to keep it. It takes years to develop trust but it can be lost over night with one self centered action. One of the major sins that destroys trust is an act of immorality. When trust is gone – we have lost one of our major assets. Immorality destroys trust in God’s people. That is why the apostle Paul said --- “let there be no hint of immorality among you.” I am not saying that it cannot be rebuilt but never never never think that trust lost because of sexual immorality can be restored overnight and with one word of “I am sorry”…. Paul said in Acts 26 – “prove your repentance by your deeds” and we are also told to bear fruit in keeping with repentance. Fruit bearing takes time. If you have lost the trust of someone because of sexual immorality keep bearing fruit --- keep building godly deeds in your life. Trust can be rebuilt. Not all of our actions cause as serious damage as sexual immorality ---- but you can rebuild trust by being open and honest and that is #2

Principle #2 If you do something that violates someone’s trust, you should try to rebuild it with total honesty and true repentance. Trust can be rebuilt with anyone that you have lost it with but you have got to choose to be totally honest. To be totally honest means that you have to work at it. For that to happen… you have got to have a change of heart and a change of mind. It means that you go to that person and you ask them to forgive you and ask them to try and trust you again. You do not simply say I am sorry ---- because really you were only sorry you got caught or you did something to loose their trust.

Rebuilding trust means that you might have to submit to accountability with someone on a regular basis. Honesty hurts – honesty requires humility and few of us are willing to walk in humility. The apostle James wrote “confess your sins one to another so that you might be healed” ---- I confessed to God is that not enough????????

Principle #3 If you cannot rebuild trust with someone, you must not make yourself a victim but go forward in your relationship with Christ. We live in a country that has made it our right to claim that we are or were a victim when we got caught or got into trouble. You hear it all the time. It was not my fault. If only those people had not done what they did and if only they would have listened to me. You see this many times in a church family when a person’s sin hurts others and those who try to help restore things… often get accused of inappropriate involvement. Refuse to be a victim and think of your self as a victim. When you have done all you can do --- leave it in God’s hands and grow in your faith --- learn from the broken relationship--------- pursue God --- pursue being a trustworthy believer.

Principle #4 If your trust has been violated, do all you can to help the person who broke your trust rebuild trust. This is a true test of your spiritual maturity. Helping someone else who has betrayed and hurt you rebuild their trust with you…… It tells you if you have really truly forgiven someone for what they did…… I do not know how many times I have been told --- “I could never trust that person again” ---- learning to trust people again hurts. When someone has stabbed you in the back ----
it takes time to heal but let me tell you there is no joy in always being cautious and keeping your distance from people. You will only find and taste real joy in God when you learn to trust others.

Principle #5 It is wise to test a person’s trust and honesty but only do so with right motives and methods. Joseph clearly demonstrated this in his life with his brothers. When you have been hurt deeply – you cannot just jump back in with a person without seeing if they are truly repentant over loosing your trust. We saw that demonstrated in the life of Joseph. It will take time. You will have to see and test if you can trust that person again. You most likely will need someone else to help you and hold you accountable and see if you are really have godly motives and methods. The apostle Paul put it very clearly in

Galatians 6:1-2 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” The bible makes it very clear that the restoration of trust most of the time takes more than one person to help restore the one who has sinned or lost the trust of that other person…… Sadly, there is not much of this going on in the church of Jesus Christ today in this country. We do not bear one another’s burdens and we do not trust each other to bear them. Paul said, carry each other’s burdens and when you do you fulfill the law of Christ. What is the Law of Christ? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and love your neighbor as yourself.” Who has lost your trust??
Whose trust have you lost???? What are you willing to do today to restore and keep trust in your relationships????

Let us Pray