Joseph #7

Becoming a Believer of Integrity and Forgiveness
The Life of Joseph # 7
September 21, 2008
Pastor Ben Fleming

Forgiveness is an issue that everyone in this room has dealt with in their life and will continue to deal with. You have either sought forgiveness from someone or you have sought to give forgiveness. You forgive easily or you easily hold a grudge and become bitter. It is a struggle to forgive. Turn in your bible to Genesis chapter 42:1 -28 …… It is much easier to forgive someone who has asked you for forgiveness – but what do you do when someone has not acknowledged that they are wrong and they do not ask you to forgive them? I can think of a dozen people from my past. Nowhere in the bible are we told to forgive only if the person asks to be forgiven. Un forgiveness in a believers life robs them of joy. It robs them of peace and robs them of experiencing the abundant life. Un forgiveness leads to resentment and a root of bitterness in your life. It does not matter what the wrong was or how deep the pain that you experienced – you could have been raped, you could have had someone steal something from you, you could have had a parent leave you or beat you. You could have been molested – you could have had a spouse leave you….. I had a hair dresser once tell me that the divorce of her first husband was more painful than the death of her second husband….. Forgiveness is essential for a believer. Parents we must teach and model forgiveness for our children…….. husbands, when was the last you’re your children heard you ask for forgiveness??? Jesus Christ reflected and taught forgiveness. In Matthew 5:44, He says that His followers must love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them and when He hung on the cross He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” To the believers in the church at Ephesus Paul wrote these words – they are on the top of your outline:

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Remember that verse and address….. You battle being a forgiving person – we all do. I know I do --- just ask my Cheryl. That is why God went to the pain of commanding us to forgive in the bible. If you do not forgive you keep the past with you. You want the right to get back at the person who hurt you. You want to play God. When Peter came to Jesus in Matthew 18 and asked Him how many times one must forgive – Jesus tells him a parable about an unmerciful servant…. The servant owed the master a debt of 10 million dollars – something he could never repay and yet the master forgave his debt completely. The servant then finds someone who owes him only 100 dollars and the servant refuses to forgive his debt. Jesus says – the master found about it and turned him over to the jailer to be tortured and then Jesus closes the parable by saying “this is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” …

Many Christians are living tortured lives because they are unforgiving……..Forgiveness is a matter of joy – it is a matter of freedom, it is a matter of peace and real prosperity – it is a matter of physical and emotional health. Jesus said, I came that you might have life and that you might have it abundantly --- right now. Let me ask you. Who in your life have you not forgiven? What wrong was been done to you that still bothers you?????? Who do you need to go after to give forgiveness to even though they are the ones who should come crawling to you and begging you to forgive them??????

Forgiving someone does not mean that they should not be brought to justice for a wrong – it means that you release them - it means that you refuse to retaliate. It means that you choose to let God vindicate you….. Joseph could have been tempted to retaliate against his brothers and vindicate himself. He could have retaliated against Potiphar’s wife. He did not deserve the treatment he experienced --- I cannot imagine his pain. 13 years away from his family and most of it spent in a dungeon. But we have already seen his true character and we are going to see more of it displayed. He harbored no grudges and he allowed God to heal his heart and we are going to see this as his brothers come to Egypt for food. Stand with me as we read Genesis chapter 42: 1- 28.

The 7 years of great abundance is now over and the famine has started and hit full force. Not only did it affect Egypt but every country surrounding it including the land of Canaan. (MAP) Look at this map so that you know what we are talking about…… In (verse 2) somehow Jacob had learned, maybe through the nomadic internet that there was grain in Egypt ------ his sons were just sitting around looking at each other and he says to them “go down to Egypt and buy grain for us so that we can eat and not die.” (blank slide) ----- you know that the famine was severe since he was afraid they all would die. Note what (verse 3 – 4) says “The ten brothers went down to Egypt to buy grain but Jacob did not send Benjamin” – Jacob was afraid that harm would come to him. Jacob was most likely still hurting over the loss of his son Joseph and he had shifted his affection to Benjamin and he does not trust the ten brothers to protect him. He did not want to be left all alone without any family – especially family he loved.

The brothers go down to Egypt – which probably took a week or two of travel and they come face to face with Joseph. They had no idea their brother was governor of all of Egypt and can you imagine what Joseph felt when he saw his 10 brothers bowing before him. Look at vs 7. “As soon as Joseph saw his brothers he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them.” ……. It had been 13 years since he last saw them --- he was just 17 years old and now he was a man of 30 – shaved and dressed as an Egyptian with the best of clothing on. The brothers dressed the same and looked the same when the last time he saw them. In their minds --- Joseph was most likely dead. Joseph is standing before them and he sees Reuben the oldest – Simeon – Levi and Judah, there was Isschar, Zebulun, Dan and Naphtali, Asher and Zilpah --- but where was the youngest Benjamin?

Can you imagine what Joseph was feeling? What was he thinking and the questions. He might have wanted to reveal his identify – run up and hug his brothers but then he might not get the answers to the questions that were coming to his mind. What were their attitudes now? Were their hearts soft and tender to God? Was Jacob alive? How did they treat him? You can bet that his mind is going back to the dream when he was 17 years old ----- right in front of him the dream is being played out.

Because Joseph had grown to see God’s purpose in his life and all that happened to him – he had patience and wisdom…. Joseph had power – position and authority over his brothers at this point. He could have put them in prison so that they would have a taste of what he had to go through. He could have sent them back north to Canaan without food so they might starve to death --- they deserved it. But Joseph chose a third option – he wanted to know the truth. He knew what the dream God gave to him meant now…… and he knew God used it to preserve his family and the nation of Abraham. Was his dad alive? Where was his brother Benjamin? Did they care about anyone except themselves? Were they the same kind of guys who threw him into the pit? Had their character changed at all???

Over the years, Joseph had become wise, so he began a dialogue with his brothers – look at (vs.7) “where do you come from?” as if he did not know – they said they had come to buy food, but Joseph forces himself to yell at them “you are spies – you have come to see where our land is unprotected.” The brothers were shocked and they repeated again why they were there and Joseph asked more questions that are not recorded in chap 42 -- but we find that out in chapter 43 when the brothers speak to their father what they told him. Joseph asked them if their father was alive and if their youngest brother was alive. Joseph decides that he is going to test them and puts them in jail for three days – He tells them to take grain back to their father but one of them is to stay in jail and they are to bring the youngest brother back to him. Right in front of Joseph the guilt of these brothers comes out and Joseph gets to hear it because he knows their language. Vs. 21 --- “Surely we are being punished because of our brother and Ruben says, “Did I not tell you not to sin against the boy now we are giving an accounting for his blood.” …… Joseph gives them the grain and puts the silver back in their sacks and the brothers head back north and on the way north they discover the silver in the sacks and we read of their first mention of God in verse 28 “What is this that God has done to us?” ----- they blame God…… Can you imagine what these guys were thinking as they went home to dad? Will dad believe us? Are we going to have to tell him everything? Will he let us take Benjamin back to Egypt? Do you see a spiritual principle here? Look on the overhead: You ought to write down…….

Slide : The longer we live in a situation with un-confessed sin and in a state of un-repentance, the more complicated, complex and painful the results will be. --------- so let’s focus now on the issue of forgiveness. Joseph certainly reflected this in his life and character with his brothers. What is forgiveness??? I could spend 6 weeks on this.

Aphiemi = means to let go, release or remit. It often refers to debts that have been paid in full. It was the word Jesus used in the parable of the unmerciful servant. It means to release someone from the wrong or hurt that they have done to you. It means that you do not hold it against them and you do not bring it up again. Husbands and wives it means you are not historical. When someone sins against you they have a debt that is owed to you. You either take payments on their debt or you either make payments….. What I mean is you withhold forgiveness – you dwell on the wrong --- you are cold and aloof, you give up on the relationship – you gossip about them or you lash back by seeking revenge against the one who hurt you – those actions may give you pleasure for a moment but in the end they will exact a high price from you…….. Someone said, “Un - forgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping the other person will die.” Who are you holding hostage? Who has a debt to you and you are working hard to make them make payments……. and it is killing you and robbing you?????? The other word used in the New Testament when the bible was written is………

Charizomai = means to bestow favor freely or unconditionally. It communicates that forgiveness is undeserved and cannot be earned. It was the same word Paul used in Ephesians 4:32 “be kind and compassionate to one another, charizomai each other just as Jesus Christ charizomai – ed you. You cannot earn forgiveness from Jesus. You do not deserve to be forgiven. I do not deserve to be forgiven and there is no way I can earn it from God. Forgiveness is costly and you cannot pay for it or earn it --- someone else has to. When you decide to forgive someone ---- their response --- their attitude --- and their actions does nothing to earn or deserve what you give them. So ask yourself now…….. who are you expecting to earn or deserve your forgiveness???????

Forgiveness Facts – Ken Sande in the Peacemaker
* Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is an act of the will. Forgiveness involves a series of decisions, the first of which is to call on God to change your own heart. You cannot forgive someone until your own heart is changed. You have got to want to forgive someone in the same way that God has forgiven you. Jesus said, forgive them for they know not what they do” ----- what do you think he felt like when He said that???? He was in agony…… As an act of your will --- in the power of the Holy Spirit you have to choose to release someone from the bondage that you have put them in. 2nd fact

* Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgetting is a passive process in which a matter fades from memory merely with the passing of time or choosing not to be around that person who hurt you again. Forgiving is an active process: it involves a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action. When God says in Isa. 43:25 that He “remembers your sins no more” --- it does not mean that He cannot remember them it means that He promises that He will not remember them. When He forgives His children He chooses not to mention – recount or think about our sins anymore. 3rd fact

* Forgiveness is not excusing. Excusing says “that’s okay” and it says “what you did wasn’t really wrong,” or “you could not help it” Forgiveness is the opposite of excusing. The very fact that forgiveness is needed and granted indicates that what someone did was wrong and inexcusable. Forgiveness says, “We both know what you did was wrong and without excuse. But since God has forgiven me – I forgive you.

Principle #1 When someone wrongs you, you are to forgive unconditionally even though that person may not admit it was wrong or ask for forgiveness. Everyone of us have had someone wrong us and they have not come to us and asked for forgiveness. It was easy to forgive a man who wronged me when he called me and ask to speak with me but I know others who have deeply hurt me and they have not said one word to me….. Long before the famine came and Jacob sent his sons down to Egypt to get food --- Joseph had forgiven them. He did not go to bed at night having anger in his heart and his mind going over and over and over again what his brothers did to him. He did not think about how he was going to get back at them ------- you know that is true because when they showed up he did not blow up and explode. So --- who are you avoiding in your life? When you see them coming down the aisle you go the other way? Who have you told yourself that you have forgiven them but you simply are avoiding them?

Story: Preacher Bill Sanger told a true story: It was Christmas time in my home. One of my guests from church had come and saw that I was mailing a stack of Christmas cards and he was startled to see a certain name and address on one of the cards. “Surely you are not sending him a card are you?” Why not --- I asked? “Do you not remember what he did? and then he went on and on and on . At that point ---- I remembered what that man did to me and what he said to others and I resolved at that time with God’s help to forgive and forget and it was God who did it. Bill did not keep a list and neither did Joseph

Principle #2 True forgiveness does not mean that you will not continue to experience some negative emotions. Many believers get confused at this point. They forget that forgiveness is an act of the will. We can truly forgive and yet still have negative feelings toward someone who has hurt us – especially at certain moments in our life. It does not mean that you will not feel cautious around that person and have a hard time in conversation with them. The hurt caused you to loose trust in them. Here is what I would say on this principle:

The true test of our forgiveness is not if we have eliminated all negative feelings, but rather, whether or not we allow these negative feelings to keep us from doing what is right in spite of these feelings. In time --- your feelings will come into conformity with what you have already done as an act of the will.

Remember: Obedience always come first before feelings.

Principle #3 Giving forgiveness and praying and hoping for justice are not incompatible concepts. God is the one who brings a person to justice. It is not wrong to expect and pray that someone who has wronged you and broken societies rules should be brought to justice. That does not mean that you are unforgiving and have no responsibility to for give someone. When the man broke into my house --- stole my coat and then broke in again and we caught him --- I went with them to the police station but I forgave him. Joseph wanted justice in Egypt and he could make sure it would happen – he hoped his brothers hearts had changed and he would use tough love to achieve his goals AND to find out the condition of their hearts. So remember this about this principle: Loving and praying for and forgiving our enemies and at the same time hoping and praying for justice is not incompatible in God’s economy.

Principle #4 When we have been wronged by someone who has not admitted or sought forgiveness, we should have as our primary concern that persons relationship with God.
Joseph demonstrated this principle beautifully. He cared about his brothers relationship with God. He was not focused on getting back at them or making them pay. He wanted to know if they were truly sorry for their sin. He wanted to see repentance in them. The writer of Hebrews says --- It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God. That applies to someone who has not confessed their sins and yet they seek forgiveness. It applies to someone who tries to destroy the work of God.

It is difficult to forgive someone who has failed to confess and repent clearly and specifically…… When you find yourself in this situation it is wise to take the time and explain to the person who wronged you and why you are having a difficult time to forgive them. This is especially true in marriages and family relationships. I would say to men: we are quick to keep the peace at any price and quick to say – I am sorry will you forgive and your wife thinks to herself – why? Are you really serious and sorry for what you did? Do you really understand how I was hurt?.......Remember: it is a person relationship with God that matters.

Story:
It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former SS man who stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men – the heaps of clothing – my sister Betsie’s pain filled face as she died. He came up to me as the church was emptying beaming and bowing – “how grateful I am for your message – fraulein – to think that you say – he has washed my sins away”…… His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people of this town about the need to forgive, kept my hand by my side…… Even as the angry – vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus --- I prayed ---forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing – not the slightest spark of warmth or love. And so I again breathed a silent prayer. Jesus I cannot forgive him – Give me your forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happen. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him – while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. So I discovered, that it is not on our forgiveness any more than our goodness that the world’s healings hinges, but on Jesus Christ. When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself………………..

Let us pray. Lord Jesus – thank you for forgiveness. The forgiveness you give is not free ---you paid for it but we cannot earn it. Help us to forgive others. Help us to forgive those who have wronged us. Help us to forgive those who have lied about us – those who have abused us – those who refuse to see any wrong and take any responsibility for the pain they have caused in our lives. Would you free the person here this morning who is bitter and resentful – they have so much un forgiveness in their heart towards someone in their past. Give them the courage and the power of the Holy Spirit to confront what they know they need to do.